Story time

Was long time never update any post at blogger .. 
I still remember the time Im playing blog is when I am broken with gf ..
So ya , I have a girlfriend now not long time ago .. 
Well , at first we're sweet too ..
But after that everything seems go wrong ..
She call me as friend in front of her friend .. And she don't know what to do to make it right ..
And I don't really know should I tell other I am single or in a relationship ? 
When friend asking me , I don't know how to answer .. Im just skip the question ...
Hmmm .. 
Sometimes I am really feel that her friend are much more important than me ... 
And all around her are guys .. 
Hell ya , I'm jealous with that .. She is close with them .. 
But should I tell her that ? Or ya maybe I should tell her all of it .but I am the person who don't really know how to talk , I mean will easily make other get mad .. I've to think very clearly before I speak .. 
Haih , I just hate myself ! 
And now , I feel like I am nothing ! Why I think so ? 
She don't tell anything , she will just answer me with secret . Don't really want to tell anyone ..
Even a small problem , she will say I can't help her .. 
But why don't just tell me ? Maybe I can help ? 
But no matter what happen , I just can't give up her ! 
Maybe this was my weak point .. I just too easily fall in love .. 
I'm don't really expecting too much now .. Not about used to it .. 
But I just love her very much . 

Broke 20 day's

31 of January
you had give up our relationship
but i look like nothing
haha..i thought nothing will happen on me
now only i realise its hurt me so much
i just scream that time
and now.
the painful is keep on my heart

But
what can i do ?
i think that want to grab you back.
but after i saw you
you just play till like no body business
you look so happy
and your status said "must put it down"
its more pain now

Suddenly i want to ask you
you forget me already ?
you okay already ?
or you just nothing at all ?
i m trying to stop myself text you.
but finally i text you too
you seems like not really want to talk anything

We broke 20day's already
Everyday i keep on notice your thing
i know few guys are flirting you
i am hurt too

What happen to me actually ?
i not awake again ?
She DON'T WANT me already.
what i wait again ?
someone please whack me and let me awake..
i feel so stress now !


Sorry..
i still very love you now .

The Story

I just read a letter you wrote me a years ago.

the letter before you go to study.

now only i know i had promise you so much thing.

that time you said "ng seh dak" me.

sometime i feel so cool.

its make smile.

I forgot i had been promised to cook for you.

i forgot you said don't let me drive very fast.

i forget i have to replace a birthday cake for you

since you got c.pox can't eat cake at your birthday.

i think have to find a time replace back the cake for you le.

I feel miss MSN now.

remember the time we just together.

we play msn and webcam for whole mid night 

both are like crazy already.

keep "sot sot" always

i still got the chance play webcam with you ?

and just like before ?

But after you go to study

start changing day by day

maybe that time i cant accept yet

its make a lot argument between us

slowly our topic less day by day

sometime feel like don't want to talk at all

sometime feel so stupid 

why not just calm down and talk well

why must keep argue

i feel no point for that now

and its break my own promise 

"i wont argue with you "

actually i break my commitment to you too

feel regret for that 

Its a lot of thing happen 

you did something wrong.

i forgive you

but you dint treat me back like before.

the most basic thing text me or a call

you can lost contact for whole day.

i wonder is that you forget me alraedy ?

or its too much people message you . you not free.

well , i guess only la.

i don't want to ask you.

because i know i cant get the answer from you

you wont tell me . if i force you to tell me..

maybe,

i ll get hurt again

Now,

i feel our distance far day by day.

are you pushing me ?

Haha

but that is real.

let me walk myself.

let me walk slowly.

Finally

If that is true..what can i say ?

Hmm
She post "i miss you" on facebook
is that guys gud johnsen ?
he is going to indo ? 
she miss him ?
when his friend say know who is that..
she said " you wont know who is that " 
what mean by this word ?
can i know everything ?
can you just let me know who i am for you ?
you want me to worry everyday ?


Hmm
maybe is not important for you ?
i just want the answer thats all i wan .

What to do ?

everything is happen 
i don't want to think about it again
its keep hurting me 
and now i ask izit still got contact with that guys.
"Seldom" ?
but in fact they are always did that 
is that call seldom ?


Hmm 
i m tiring with it.
what to do
let it be a perfect lie from you 
keep it on my heart
let it be
this is only i can do
i don't need any commitment 
just remember what need to do
thats all
no point for me to say anything
want me change back like before 
my answer only same as you
i ll try
give me some time
if i cant ?
i can only say "Sorry"
you had change me 

Something i mind

Huh
I just found something and i am very mind that
and its very ridiculous for xxxxxxxxxx
but what i can do again ?
except pretend . there got no way to go
but i wont pretend and do nothing 
i will do the same thing as you
the thing you are doing now
maybe you wont regret what you choose now
i can't care it much again
Sorry ~ i've to do so .